I'm sure we've all come across a glinting contact lens in the desert. Of course, we also know that this contact lens belongs to one Penetella Giovanni, a suspicious Mr. T look-alike who resides above the Fourside bakery. And of course, we all know the reward for retrieving this contact lens -- a pair of dirty socks with a smell strong enough to beach a whale. However, one has to wonder -- well okay, maybe not one, but definitely two wonders -- how in the heck did Penetella lose this contact lens in the first place, and how in the heck was he able to set up a sign asking people to find it? Well, it all dates back to when the black and white sesame seeds were together...

You see, this is yet another conspiracy of the great country of EagleLand! Yes, it's true, I was able to recover yet another conspiracy so well hidden by the Fourside government! This "Penetella" character, if that is his real name, is actually a well-renowned thief and manipulator. It all dates back to when the black and white sesame seeds were together...wait, I already said that. Well anyway, the black and white sesame seeds had a child. Of course, when you have two sesame seeds mating you're going to get a weird child. This child was very shiny and sparkled like the rays of the sun. They called him "Blinky". It was around this time that "Penetella" stepped into the scene. You see, the black market in sesame seed children trading was at an all time high in Fourside, and people would be BIG BUCKS for sesame seeds that glistened in the sun.

Penetella Giovanni is not the mild-mannered foo-pitying look-alike that we all know and love. Since the black and white seeds refused to turn over their own child, Penetella devised a plan. An evil plan. He planned to trick hapless adventurers into seed-napping this poor child! At this point it all may appear to be the ramblings of a crazy person, but rest assured I will pull it together soon. Needless to say, you will be quite shocked at the results of this conspiracy. Anyway, as I said, he devised an evil plan. Penetella set out a sign in the middle of the Dusty Dunes Desert saying he had "lost a contact lens", for that is what the little sesame seed looked like. And of course, people like you believed him!

Are you not ashamed of yourself? You seed-nappers! Oh, excuses excuses. You pilot a little video game character around the screen and pick up helpless sesame seed babies, then sell them off on the black market. And for what? A pair of dirty socks. Well, I won't stand for it. I'm going to contact the Onett Police department immediately. THEN we'll see who's laughing when you walk outside your house tomorrow morning and find road blocks up all over your lawn!! HAHAHAHA

Now for the moment you've all been waiting for, the secret of Penetella Giovanni. You see, after he sold this sesame seed child off to slavery, Penetella was rolling in dough. Now don't you think it's a coincidence that his last name is "Giovanni"? Do you know anyone else whose name is Giovanni and has lots of money? That's right! This infamous seed-napper and slave dealer is none other than the Giovanni who funds our site! So I guess it doesn't really matter that a sesame seed was sold off into slavery, since we can afford this site thanks to Giovanni's generous contributions. What's a few federal laws, after all?