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Last Week's Mailbag
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The topic for last week's mailbag was:
Space Time Conundrum - Would Earthbound be better or worse if it didn't have time travel? If Giygas wasn't striking from ten years in the past, if Buzz Buzz didn't come in from ten years in the future, would you still be playing the game today? Or would we all be talking about Chrono Trigger instead?
I have to admit, I'm a bit of a time travel fiend, so don't take it personally if I shred your theories to bits.
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Weasel Exit to the Past
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Yes, Earthbound can be worse without time travel. First off, if Ness and his team didn't notice there was an imminent threat coming towards their planet, they would be caught off guard and be taken over right away! Besides that I think Giygas is probably attacking from the past. And then, how would Buzz Buzz appear 10 years FROM the future if Giygas is attacking 10 years TO the future (so to speak)? Buzz Buzz came from 200x, Giygas 198x. Or something like that. But then how is Giygas attacking planet Earth 20 years in the future if he's stuck in the 80's? Ninten and his 'clique' would have beaten Giegue by then!
- EarthBoundFan2004

I want to start by addressing the Giygas issue right off the bat. EBFan wrote, "I think Giygas is probably attacking from the past." The italics in that quote were added by me to illustrate how EBFan left himself a weasel exit in case anyone could prove him wrong, which also means he wasn't 100% sure. Now, I am 100% sure, which is why I've grabbed these screenshots to clue the rest of you in.
So there you have it, he's definitely attacking from the past. I may have confused a couple of you by specifying that it was ten years in the past, which I now further assure you it isn't; the exact date Giygas attacks from is never specified.
Anyway, to defend the past-attack concept: there are two schools of theory in the field of temporal effects on the future. One says that even the smallest change in the past will cause horrendous changes in the future. This theory requires you to think about butterflies in Tokyo and the consequences thereof and I don't like it. The other theory says that it takes monumental changes in the past to bring about a change in the future. I like this theory much better, because it makes things like Chrono Trigger and Back to the Future that much simpler to work out. So what I figure Giygas is doing in the past is figuring out ways to create influence and change circumstances so that he has greater control in the future. By blowing him away - a big change - you end his influence, only in such a way as to not erase the memory of his influence, which is now locked forever into the timespace. Something like that. Hey, I'm a Mailbag staffer, not a temporal physicist.
--- SimonBob
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Last Names: Precedent Citing
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Dear fellow Starmen,
I've been wondering: in Earthbound, what are the main characters' full names? I know for the game that Jeff is Jeff Ardonauts and Paula is Paula Polestar, but they don't say anything about Poo's or Ness's last names. Please help!
- cottonmouth

Poo is a prince, so he doesn't need a last name. Sometimes I give him the note sign as a name and call him "The Prince formerly known as Poo." Ness's last name is a topic that's been debated over the ages; I wrote an article about it once. Submit Articles! Make PappyCat do some work! We've already lost enough Article staffers this way!
--- SimonBob
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Robots!
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Wait a minute, Giygas was striking from the past? I always thought you traveled to the future at the end. Why else would we be in robot form. In the future the world is controlled by robots rather than humans. It would make more sense if Giygas was in the future. If Ness and his friends traveled to the future in their human forms they would not blend in well, and the robots would throw them in jail. If they traveled back in past, wouldnt they end up in Podunk town or something. Im beginning to confuse myself. They should have left out time travel and had Giygas hide out out in Ness' Mom's room. I looked for hours and was unable to find it. Where else does Ness' Mom sleep? The table? I know it looks comfortable but what would she use for a pillow? I mean, wouldnt that be a great ending. Ness would have gone around the world only to find out that Giygas is hiding in his moms "secret" bedroom.
- Bane

Yes, Giygas was striking from the past! Although I like your idea about Ness travelling to the future disguised as a robot to avoid detection. Are any PK Hackers reading this? I've got your next project here!
And as far as you know, that is Ness's mom's room. The gooey floor that looks like intestines? Yeah, she doesn't really clean it up too often.
--- SimonBob
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Say Yes To Time Travel
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Well, I say yes. If there wasn't time travel, it just wouldn't be a challenge to gewt to gigyas and have that cool "soul leaving body" thing at the end. We would all be talking about Chrono Trigger alright. I also think that in Mother 3, the original idea was that Pokey is the pig king, and you are time travelling to stop him, and I believe that Ness, or a descendant of Ness, was intended to be found later in the game.
- Tre

So everything in the Mother series is connected by a series of time travel moments? Maybe the guy on the phone with his back to you at the end of EB0 is actually Rufus! Excellent!
--- SimonBob
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Love <3
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Of COURSE three letters in one week! I like writing letters to you! Over Thanksgiving I went to my cousins' house and we had lots of fun. I ate 2 and a half pies in one sittting!! We made labels for the alcoholic beverages they were funny things like "This is fattening" and "The liver is evil, it must be punished"! We had a lotsa fun. Wish you and Reidsy could have been there.
Did you do anything fun?
We also made lots of pictures of reidman. We drew him as a QVC host, an angel, a doctor, and espianage agent, and there was one with reidsy standing looking embarassed and I was by him and I had my hands clasped and hearts in my eyes. It was very funny and my aunt liked the last one best. I think that I liked the QVC host one the best. He was saying "lie. lie, lie, lie, lie" and the caller (the testimonial callers that call in on QVC) said "I woud like to see you wearing that dress" because he was trying to sell a dress.
We made an RPG on RPG Maker and the main character was reidman. In his house we made every item say mean things like the clock said "You look at the clock but you can't tell time!! Hahaha!" and the stove said "You poked the stove and you burned your finger! You're such an idiot!!" but of couse it was all in jest as I love reidsy with all of my heart.
Have you ever 'stalked' someone? Everyone I know says that I'm stalking reid but I'm not really. I've just been gathering information and obsessing over him for 2 years. Not really stalking. Although I would like to visit him in Indiana.
My friend at school says that I'm the creepiest person alive! He made up radman, reidman's evil twin. It's pretty funny!!
Well I guess that's all I have to say for now.
Love ya!
Gloob

Your Thanksgiving was my Not Thanksgiving since I'm one of those weirdo Canadian freaks. Pass the Beavertails, eh?
--- SimonBob
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Without Time Travel, and Love
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Well without time travel Buzz-Buzz wouldn't go back in time to tell Ness his mission as the chosen one of four so Giygas will rule the world and Earthbound would not have been made. And we will all not be together and you will be out of a mailbag job SimonBob. And without you life is boring. :(
Tenopii

It's entirely possible that Ness could've found the Sound Stone in his sock and intuitively figured out how to save the world himself, but I guess that wouldn't be cohesive enough for me to hold this job down. Hm.
--- SimonBob
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Five Minutes Earlier
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Dear Mailbaggers,
I'm going ON & OFF Topic. Its a amazing trick I learned in school.
(On topic)I really don't care if Giygas was right next door to Ness or if Buzz-Buzz came 5 minutes in the future. I would play it anyways because its a great game and I'm in Love with Master Belch.
So I wouldn't care if Ness was the villian and we had to play Pokey...No..wait then I'll freak out.
(Off topic) About the Mother3 update I want to know if you guys know if its a sequal OR A entirly new story that relates nothing to Mother2?
Thanks for listening and I bet you look good in a thong.
- Zock Endland

No. No I do not. Moving on.
I think Mother 3 will be as good as, if not better than, Duke Nukem Forever. Seriously? I have no idea where to begin speculating about what the game will be like. I guess we were all expecting a sort of sequel, but it's been a looong time since then, and stuff can change, you know? Itoi might've had a revelation and decided that the hero of the game should be a shoe salesman. Collect fifteen sneakers for a bonus to HP! (Seriously, Itoi, if you're reading this and doing that... go back to the drawing board, man.)
--- SimonBob
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All I want for Winter Solstice
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I just want Mother 1+2 here in American... in English
- Jeremy

Ask Annual Gift Man for it!
--- SimonBob
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"Absentmindedly Lazy"
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Actually, I don't think time travel is a major issue in EarthBound, it plays out in the beginning and end of the story, but the larger part of the plot occurs in the present, without any time-hopping (time lapsing is not the same thing) thats in games like CT (LiveALive is a little more tricky, IMO).
Which reminds me, I don't think the fight with Giygas actually happens in the past. Rather, Giygas was inside a relativity cloud that existed outside normal time/space slightly in the past because things occured slightly (haven't devoted much thought in the magnitude) slower than normal time/space inside Giygas' time/space. It really makes alot of EB's "plot holes" a non-issue. I'd write an article about it, but I've been meaning to use it in a fanfic, and I'd write that fanfic, but I want to play EBO through first, and I'd do that, except I don't have a computer, or perhaps I've been absentmindedly lazy about the whole project.
- Casgair

I'll tell you ahead of time, EB0 has nothing in the way of time travel. And technically, if Giygas's spacetime is travelling slower than ours, then it's moved behind us - into the past, in other words. So in either case, I think "attacking from the past" is appropriate. I like your idea though.
--- SimonBob
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Okay okay okay
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Hey there. I'm just lookin' for a wave file of that satisfying "ok-desu-ka" sound or whatever it is - that I'll be able to download. :P Can anyon help me out? Much obliged.
- Skerrcrow

I'll ok YOUR desu-ka! Seriously, I love this site, there's so much awesome stuff.
--- SimonBob
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Archives:
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Falc, SimonBob, and Mike's Archive:
July 15, 2003: Mother 1+2 US Release, EB Merchandise, Fanfics
July 20, 2003: M 1+2 Import, Sanctuary Locations, Trivia League
July 28, 2003: EBFGPS, Sword of Kings, Time Capsule feat. pre-staff SimonBob
August 9, 2003: Starmen.Net Forums feat. Grandpa
August 17, 2003: Mailbag Improvement Week feat. PappyCat
September 16, 2003: Fun Stuff Suggestions feat. Sephy
October 7, 2003: Petition Mention feat. Skulryk
October 20, 2003: EarthBound the Movie
October 28, 2003: Free Topic Week feat. Giovanni
November 6, 2003: Halloween Funfest 2003 feat. Jim
November 9, 2003: Starmen.net Radio feat. Picky
November 15, 2003: Alternate EarthBound Sites feat. DarthAndonuts
November 22, 2003: #earthbound feat. Carpainter
November 29, 2003: Staff Improvement feat. AoE
December 14, 2003: Forum Improvement feat. Atticus
December 17, 2003: Holiday Funfest
January 2, 2004: EB No Matsuri
January 10, 2004: Starmen.net Site Development
January 19, 2004: EarthBound in 2004
January 24, 2004: EarthBound Quotes
January 31, 2004: Mother 1 Soundtrack Re-release
February 8, 2004: EarthBound Over Easy
February 15, 2004: Change of Pace
February 22, 2004: Favourite Foodstuffs feat. Steve-o
February 29, 2004: Killed Off
March 21, 2004: Catch A Bunch
March 27, 2004: Then and Now feat. Steve-o
April 5, 2004: Winter Funfest Results feat. Carpainter
April 12, 2004: Something Springy feat. Jamie_M
April 20, 2004: 1+2=what now? feat. Dash
May 1, 2004: New Forums
June 1, 2004: The Site That Gives Back
June 29, 2004: Wacky Genetic Experiments
July 18, 2004: E3 Speculations
August 11, 2004: Summer Funfest feat. Tomato & AmzRigh
September 23, 2004: EBFGPS04
October 23, 2004: Vacation Special
October 30, 2004: Soundtrack Songs
November 6, 2004: Site Fundraiser
November 14, 2004: Halloween
November 28, 2004: EarthBound Influence
December 11, 2004: Scientific Errors
January 17, 2005: Space Time Conundrum
January 28, 2005: Is Mother 3 Coming?
TAFKACC's Archive:
May 25, 2003: Starmen.Net's Future, EB Date, Ness's Nightmare
June 1, 2003: Mailbag Length, Online Walkthru, EB Theory Special
June 8, 2003: EB Characters in Mother 3, Flukes, Mailbag Critique
June 28, 2003: Articles Debate, Pokey's Past, Topic Suggestions
July 6, 2003: Xod Tribute, PK Call'n, EB Trivia
GuyInSummers and StarmanDeluxe's Archive:
Here is the Hall of Fame, which contains the best letters from each week.
Mar 3, 2002: Do you still play EB?
Mar 10, 2002: What's your favorite EB tune? CO: SLing
Mar 31, 2002: Will M3 come out? Will FF come to GCN?
Apr 7, 2002: How well will the petition do? CO: Poo
Apr 14, 2002: What was your favorite game of all time?
May 12, 2002: What was the WORST game of all time?
Jun 23, 2002: Have you ever done something EarthBoundy?
Aug 23, 2002: What is your favorite enemy?
Aug 30, 2002: New features for an EarthBound Advance?
Sep 7, 2002: Mother 3 Opinion Shoutout
Sep 14, 2002: Is EarthBound still your favorite?
Sep 21, 2002: People that know about EB? CO: Starman Deluxe
Sep 28, 2002: Ever laughed cried while playing EB? CO: SimonBob
Oct 5, 2002: Done something you thought you weren't supposed to?
Oct 12, 2002: Connections: EB and EB0? CO: OmniPenguin
Oct 20, 2002: Fanart, fanmusic, or fanfiction?
Oct. 27, 2002: Would you be a staffer?
Nov. 2, 2002: Halloween Funfest
Nov. 9, 2002: reid for a day? CO: Arad
Nov. 17, 2002: Interactive Fictions?
Nov. 24, 2002: Disappointing EB?
Nov. 30, 2002: Play EB! How was it?
Dec. 8, 2002: Mailbag Opinions
Dec. 15, 2002: Is Jeff useless? Who should replace him?
Dec. 23, 2002: No topic! CO: godofcows/poik007
Dec. 31, 2002: Real-life things in EB?
Jan. 27, 2003: Holiday Funfest 2002? CO: SimonBob
Feb. 1, 2003: New staffers?
Feb. 17, 2003: How could phones be cooler?
March 4, 2003: Have you PK Hacked? CO: BlueAntoid
To view the old archive from the days of EBounding and diospadre, you can go here.
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