Well folks, yesterday was quite a day. Here's how mine went, since you asked so nicely:
"So, did anyone notice that our collective dreams of four long years have been realized in one glorious fell stroke and that our sheer determination, perseverance, blood, sweat, and tears finally paid off in a veritable jackpot of fulfilled wishes?"
"Huh? Oh, that."
...
In all actuality, there are a LOT of things to talk about, and even more things to act on. So, here we go, starting off with a handy little concatenated list.
STAFF CHANGES:
SERVER LOAD/BANDWIDTH
NO ADS EVER PERIOD.
SITE MEETINGS: BURY MY @ AT WOUNDED TROUT
DIVISION/SOLIDARITY
WHINING: THE FALL OF AN EMPIRE
STAFF CHANGES:
This section is mainly for staffers, but feel free to read it if you're a regular or you want to be a staffer in the future or you're just bored.
Its time for preparations to begin. Not next month, or in a week...now. The ubiquitous "reid time" can no longer be a rule we live by, meaning that if we have a deadline to get something done, we need to meet the deadline without multiplying by two and adding a week. Mother1+2 is going to be released in Japan on June 20th. For those who don't pay attention to my little friend "time", thats a little over two months. Thats not much time.
So, you think you know someone that would work well with you on your section? Don't count on that being the person we choose to be your partner, but do feel free to make suggestions. If you think you can handle everything on your own, more power to you. Specifically, though, the Mother 1, 2, 3, fanart, and article staffers should plan on being assigned a coworker if they don't ask for one.
What I'm trying to say is that I want Starmen.Net to be the kind of place that just automatically elicits dedication from people. I don't want people to feel obligated to come, or especially to donate their time, talents, or money. I want Starmen.Net to be an online home away from home, as uber-dorky as that sounds. And you, the staff, are the ones who I am putting in charge of this. Normally I would expound on this, but I think you guys can figure this out without any proding or explanation from me. Just be yourselves. We picked you guys because you're awesome, because you're funny, because you're hard workers and you inspire other people to work hard. Be yourselves :)
Finally...thank you. You guys rock, and I already know that you're going to be AWESOME in the coming months.
SITE CHANGES:
We've all thought about it, talked about it, and some of us have worried about it: when this game gets released stateside, there will be a flood of newcomers to Starmen.Net like we've never seen before. Even now, as we speak, there has been a noticeable increase in the number of new registrations on the forum. Here's some more interesting information:
This needs to stop.
Do you remember your first time at the site? I'm sure plenty of the people reading this remember their first time on the forum and can probably name off a few people who they remember as being real nice or real lame. However, many more of those reading this article may never have come to the forum until now. If they do decide to come, how will they be treated? Will they be tossed into the bottom of the pile and treated like crap until they "prove" themselves to the rest of the forum goers? No, they won't. Not because I don't expect it to happen, but because I won't LET it happen.
Starmen.Net exists as a fan site for an awesome series of games. Starmen.Net is not an aristocracy. The forum is not a personal playground, not the stomping ground of the terrifying Reggosaurus. All of the people who enjoy the forum now were all at one time new themselves. What if PappyCat, one of our beloved (and extremely hard-working) staff/mods, had been scared away by the idiots who undoubtedly taunted her when she was new? Things would be a lot different around here. Tomato and I would be swimming through a sea of EarthBound Zero mod applications, and the articles section would either still be stafferless or have someone who would update maybe half as much as Pappy does. This isn't a slam against anyone, this is a shout out to PappyCat; had she never shown up, things would be less awesome around here. They wouldn't be worse, but they just wouldn't be as cool.
The new people will be the future regulars, the future contributors to the articles and fanart and fanfics, the future participants in the contests, the future ops, the future mods, and most importantly, the future staff of this website. Now you can ruin it for yourselves by scaring away all the cool people with big talk about how we hate newbies, or you can help. That much is up to you.
If all of this has you worried about the future of the website, then you need to quit being a pansy. Accept the change, and meet the challenge head-on; welcome the new people, and explain to them how things work here. The inevitable idiots will weed themselves out. If you concentrate less on the small things that are going to be a small hassle, and instead focus on the awesome things that will happen at this site, you'll have a lot better time with it. And, guess what? You might learn something about real life in the process, sorta like how there are more cool people in the world than just your two closest friends. Those of you who have made the transition from the relative social comfort of high school into the tumultuous world of college know exactly what I'm talking about. Scary at first, but with big dividends.
You may remember all the hype I was spewing about the new web design which was slated to come out early this year. I, of course, feel dumb for having made such a big deal and then changing my mind about it all, but there were very good reasons for it. First off, graphically, my design wasn't very good at all. I can (and will) do so much better. In the past, Starmen.Net has always been my pride and joy when it comes to web design; I would always direct someone to Starmen.Net if they wanted to see what I could do. However, I've gotten real busy at college, and I just simply don't have the time to redesign Starmen.Net as often as I used to. However, a new design is way overdue, and shall be coming this summer. Anyway, what it boils down to is that my new web design was ugly and poorly planned, and I realized (after Xod had busted his butt to get the HTML working just right) that the new design just couldn't provide the site with the flex/expandability it needed. This is why we decided not to use it.
At about this point people are mad because I haven't offered a preview of it. Well, sorry, but no can do :) We will probably be using a modified version of this design for the upcoming walkthroughs (more on that later), so you'll get to see the design sooner or later. Just because we ditched this particular design, however, definitely doesn't mean that we've given up.
With luck, more than the graphics will be changing. The layout and structure of Starmen.Net will be radically affected. For about four months now, there has been a text document sitting on the server with our plans for the new design in it. This text file is rather large and contains all of the things that Tomato, Xod, and I plan on implementing for the site. One of these things is that much of the site is going to be databased and run dynamically.
What this means is that most staffers will never have to do HTML work again. Ever. Listen carefully and you can hear the screams of elation from the staff. It also means that updates will flow like milk and honey for two reasons: updating will be ridiculously easy (check off the things you want to update your section with, hit the OK button you're done), and there will be a steadily flowing stream of submissions. What be the motivation for people to submit stuff and participate in things on the site? The fact that everyone will have their own personal entry in the database, and that you'll be able to see any/all of the submissions anyone has made to any part of the site by looking up their profile. These are some of the dreams we have for the site.
These dreams, like anything this big, complex, and cool, will require massive amounts of work. I know that Tomato and Xod won't possibly have all the time they'll need to work on it, but I also know of a few good people whom can provide the help we'll need to get this project off the ground.
More to come later. Keep on rockin in the free world.
4:00 AM - Go to sleep.
So...yeah. At this point I would normally say something like 'WOOOODANG WTF AHAHAHAH#%@#%@#'...but this is almost awkward. I mean, seriously. What do you say when something this big happens?
9:00 AM - Get up.
9:15 AM - Miss the bus.
9:45 AM - Finish terrifying and long journey of 2 miles with the 4-headed Mother 3 Beast on my back. Klunk down 24 lbs of petition in a box. Get weird looks and a 'Whatever. It'll be ready in an hour.' Status: Somewhat sweaty.
...Classes...
2:30 PM - Pick up petition, realize 'Hey, idiot, you forgot the art albums. You haif schvfifty five minutes to gait them.'
2:35 PM - Catch Bill (aka TheMadCreator, of Fukunaga Snipe fame) on the way to the bus. Point gun to his head, make him carry petition box. Laugh derisively.
2:45 PM - Get back to house. Status: Hungry.
2:47 PM - Sit down at computer.
2:48 PM - Go to Starmen.Net.
2:49 PM - CRAP MY PANTS.
...Celebration, shuffling of albums and letters and various documents...
4:30 PM - Arrive at mailroom, NOT sweaty due to lack of stupid bus missing. Klunk down roughly 35 lbs of petitions and albums. Get some more weird looks and a few dropped jaws upon hearing that I'm shipping about 18 lbs of paper domestically and about 18 more to Japan.
July, 2010 - Finish writing stupid Japanese addresses on 8 different mailing labels and customs slips. Seriously, where the crap is mishinikagawa-ocho-hirashitakemitsubishi?? Status: Have to poop.
5:15 PM - Hand over $145 for shipping. Crap my pants again. Status: Don't have to poop.
5:16 PM - Realize that I've FINALLY finished with this year long project. Congratulate everyone silently. Get weird looks from other people on the bus as I shake the hands of 30,000 invisible people.
CURRENT STAFF
SITE CHANGES:
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE NEWBIE: THE COMING FLOOD
COMMUNITY CHANGES:
COMPETITION: DEATH TO THE INFIDELS
Alrighty, kids. Time to buckle down. I know you're all as excited as Tomato and I, but...well, we've got a lot of work to do. Heh. Tomato has a full time job and I will too this summer, and I know at least a few of you will be joining us in the workforce. That makes important for those of you who won't have to worry about evil jobs to put in a little extra when/where you can. Regardless, Tomato and I are still going to do everything we can to keep things moving. This summer is going to bring some of the most radical changes any of us has ever experienced at Starmen.Net, even more radical than the infamous EarthBound.Net -> Starmen.Net switch. Don't believe me? Sit back and watch :)
...and probably get fired if thats all you do.
First preparation: Check your schedule. We're going to have some staff meetings. The tentative time for the first staff meeting is going to be Wednesday, April 16 at 8 PM Indiana Time. I have no idea what time that is for the rest of you weirdo DST people, so go check on WorldTimeZone.com. Look, I even gave you a link.
Second preparation: Start figuring out what you can do for your section. Start figuring out if you can handle your section on your own. Tomato and I are going to begin encouraging teamwork. I'm a pretty firm believer that teams of two people will be optimal for our situation, and here's why. If we can get two people who are different, I think we can make the front page explode like it used to when the site first started. We don't want these two people being drastically different, but different enough to balance out each other's weaknesses and to provide some mutual support, especially in keeping one another accountable to updating and keeping close to important goals/updates. With teams of two, you effectively double the output of a single section while halving the workload of the updater. You also don't have the politics you'll encounter with larger groups.
Finally is dedication. Starmen.Net is often compared to a small communist country, and I guess the analogy does well enough. Everyone works for the good of the group, and you are controlled by reidmato, a terrifying conglomerate half-red-half-pasty-white nerd dictator. However, we don't want Starmen.Net to be a prison for your online soul. We don't want Starmen.Net to be a place you go to check the latest flame war to see who's pulling ahead or where you have to dodge bullets. Bullets made of cynicsm and sarcasm. And playdough. Evil, evil playdough.
The future staff will be looking up to you guys as an example. You may remember how Tomato and I used to talk about how we used to have 14 news items a day at the old EarthBound.Net, and a lower (but still mightily impressive) number early at Starmen.Net. These are not stories or exaggerations, these are flat-out truth. EarthBound.Net used to be literally buzzing with activity at all hours of the day and night. Back then we didn't have 400 gigs of data transfer per month, we didn't have 4,000 forum registrations, and we certainly didn't have a cool web design (not that we do now, but we will soon). I don't want to compare you guys to the old staff; I want you guys to set the bar for the staffers to come. And if you get lazy at some point then set some mousetraps too.
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE NEWBIE: THE COMING FLOOD
This section pertains to what Starmen.Net will be evolving into over the coming months (and years). This is very important for regulars and staffers to read. New people should read it too, if for no other reason than to get a grasp of what kind of site this is.
Holy crap. We're going to have over half a million pageviews by the time this month is out. That's ridiculous. I just thought I'd share these stats with you because they show the beginning of the new trend here at Starmen.Net; things are going to start getting bigger. With that change in the site brings one very, very important change: there will be LOADS of new people. At this point, a lot of people (especially on the forum) start screaming unintelligible things like '0WTFMG n00b!' and fret about how their precious community is going to crumble before their very eyes.
LAYOUT, DESIGN, AND CONTENT
Every time we change the design at Starmen.Net, people whine. And whine. And whine. And it makes me mad enough to quit every time it happens. Obviously I'm not going to quit because of a few losers, but that's just how frustrating it is. Months of work and late nights and neglecting projects/homework and agonizing over the tiniest details, and the first thing I hear is 'Dude, this sucks. Why can't you change it back?'. Every time. If I designed the sweetest, sexiest, most irresisitably awesome site in the history of the internet, some idiot would still complain. So I guess maybe this is just me prepping myself for it. Thanks reid. You're welcome.