The healer first saw his video game debut with the Japanese hit Mother, where he was a kindly old healer with blue hair. He made thousands from his appearance and was prosperous. However, after the Mother gig, he had no other options. No self-respecting RPG would include a healer with frickin blue hair! With rising everyday costs, the healer was forced out of retirement and had to become part of the workforce. He needed a miracle. But how?

The healer, after drowning his sorrows with alcohol at Ellay, went to corporate headquarters and consulted with his longtime friend Shigeru Miyamoto. He told him how he was desperate for a job and that social standing and work conditions didn't matter, as long as he had a steady job.

Shigeru contemplated this a moment, then replied that the game Super Mario Bros. was such a centennial blockbuster that they needed extra staff for various behind-the-scenes jobs, such as cleaning up after the Goombas, polishing the Koopa's shells, etc.

The healer chose to collect the mushrooms needed for the game.

He became skilled at mushroom finding, bringing Shigeru hundreds of Super Mushrooms (and the occasional Poison Mushroom and 1-up Mushroom) daily. He continued gathering mushrooms for several months, until Shigeru called him one day and informed him that he was no longer necessary to the operation. He was paid a fortune, then was dismissed.

Following the debut of Super Mario Bros. 2, 3, Super Mario World, and Super Mario All-Stars, he was callen on by Shigeru to again collect the mushrooms and was rewarded handsomely for his work.

In 1995, he was informed by HAL Lab and APE Inc. that a sequel to Mother was to be released in the U.S. They also informed him that for the Japanese version they had to hire a stunt double because he was unavailable. He agreed to resume his job as a healer and prospered for quite a while, until one fateful day when he was relaxing in his luxury home in Twoson.

Everdred confronted him at his poolside and asked if he had a moment. The healer said yes, he did. Everdred then took out a stolen Gaia Beam and shot the healer in the head, leaving him legally dead. Everdred looted his house, burnt it to the ground, and withdrew all of his savings from the local ATM.

The healer awoke with a start, his head soaked with blood. He saw the remains of his house and gasped. He went to the Department Store to try to withdraw his savings when he saw there was a balance of $0. Distraught, he claimed sanctuary at the local hospital and begged for his food from wealthy patients.

He sits on his bench to this day, healing you for a couple bucks and acting in a nonchalant manner. The sight of a mushroom on one of your party member's heads reminds him of the times he once had, before that fateful day. This powerful vision compels him to buy the relic of his past from you, struggling to remember the memories of times long ago.

The Healer can heal almost anything and he has saved countless lives, but the stars in the sky burning against him. The Healer is slowing losing his mind and body to the Trillionage Curse. In the Healer's many travels, he happened upon the "Your Sanctuary" Guardian, the Trillioinage Sprout. When the Healer first saw this legendary beast, he saw the golden leaves upon his head and thought that they might have some curative properties, so he walked up to the plant.

Luckily for the Healer, the Trillionage Sprout was sleeping at the time, so he slowly climbed up the mounds of dirt and rock that made up most of his body. Carefully, he reached out a hand for the golden leaves and just as his fingertips graced the golden leaves, the Trililonage Sprout let out a mighty roar and with one big shake, tossed the Healer to the ground. The two looked at each other and then in a lightning flash, the Healer was licked by the tongue of a trillion years.

The Healer ran off, and at first everything seemed fine. After a few years, the Healer lost all his hair as if a dog was shedding...And then he noticed there was a golden sprout upon his head...Yes, the Healer is slowly turning into a Trillion Age Sprout.

Since this revelation, the Healer has secluded himself away in his botanic hideaway. He feverishly studies plants and spores and mushrooms, obsessed with finding a cure for himself before the transformation is complete. He's ordered all of his assistants in Eagleland to collect and pay money for mushrooms off of people because he believes the Mushroomization process is similar to his own curse, and hopes that the mushrooms will eventually lead to the solution he so desperately desires.

Let's go as far to say that these mushrooms are actually in the infant stage of the "Wandering Malignant" cycle of evil mushrooms. So unknowingly, you give these baby mushrooms, that feed of your hair, to this guy. Well, he just so happens to be the kaiser of some country, and he's been collecting these mushrooms for over 23 years! The main reason he's been biding his time is because he knows about Giygas, and he can't take him out because he can't pray; this kaiser is one non-believing athiest.

So he waited for Paula to come around with her pure soul, and dispose of Giygas. Now that the big G's out of the way, Blue Beard (the original founder of Happy Happyism) path for world domination is cleared, and blue is imminent.

Therefore, my answer will be something different.

1. The mushroom may have medicinal properties that the healer may use for healing people. What else is he going to use for ingredients? Antoids?

Probably not, although I wouldn't trust him, as he just seems to be out for your money. In fact, the mushroom thing could just be a ruse, when all he really does is sell them to hippies for $120 and gives you a placebo. A really good placebo. Good enough to make a dead guy come back to life or a stoned guy soften up.

2. He could use them for eating, if they are edible. If a hamburger costs $12, then a mushroom can cost $50 bucks (Especially when all you do is sit and get paid for saying "Wow, you're healed!" I wish his Charisma score wasn't so high.) for a money-making guy like him.

The mushroomer just COLLECTS mushrooms, but what if she has to feed her family? What if she's an aid at a school and the entire game takes place in Summer? How is she gonna get ANYTHING? Anyway, she's still awfully dumb to spend $50 on a mushroom when she's standing in a pile of them.

Well, anyway, if the dumb ol' mushroom lady* eats the mushrooms, they have to be edible, which verfies my theory.

3. He just uses the mushrooms to avoid the cops. I mean, sometimes he peddles on the sidewalk, which is illegal. So to get away from the doctors and the cop, he sics a Shroom on them or sticks it to their head, and laughs evilly

as they run around in confusion, getting hit by their own friends.

Or he could use them as smoke bombs. "The Healer threw the Mushroom! The Ramblin' Evil 'Shroom scattered some spores!" Also, the reason the Healer doesn't get attacked by the Shrooms is because he hold their friends hostage. So next time you use the healer, think of what you are doing! And don't give your mushrooms to the dumb mushroom lady, either.

*If I am not biased at some point, it is not me.

Now, note, the brothers cultivate three types of mushrooms:

A. Clean; fully cleansed of its narcotic chemicals; not a single trace left; treated
B. Dirty; partially cleansed of its narcotic chemicals; small traces left; treated
C. Ramblin; kept with all of its narcotic chemicals intact; all traces left; untreated

>From there, the raising of safe, non-aggressive mushrooms can lead to a number of things:

Now, the three types are specified for certain purposes. Follow the chart below to see how they are used.

A: 2
B: 1, 3
C: 4, 5
1. The mushrooms are processed into actual medicines, which the brothers sell to the hospital for a good price.

2. The family is the sole provider for the mushrooms for Mach Pizza mushroom pizzas, thanks to a lucrative deal made before Mach Pizza became such a successful chain franchise.

3. Ever wonder what makes the Mr. Saturn痴 Peanut-Cheese bars so scrumptious and helpful? The key ingredients are, of course, the mushrooms.

4. Some (very few) escape before being processed into the outer world. They eventually become evil, but only because of peer pressure from surrounding mushrooms.

5. The mushrooms do have a hallucinogenic side-effect if directly eaten out of the ground. But, this is actually suppressed as much as possible by the family. The process that the brothers have perfected removes the hallucinogenic chemicals from the Ramblin� Evil Mushrooms, returning them to their safe, normal form. This purpose is only used by some New Age Retro Hippies who steal the mushrooms from the farm in the dead of night.

Now, please remember, the 電irty� variety do not have enough left to actually induce any 塗ighs�. The narcotic chemicals do have medicinal properties, and are properly diluted to a safe level.

Despite this minor setback, it was still entirely possible to create an army of Ness and Paulas. Yet as luck would have it, a long-haired, tie-dye clad, and rather stinky hippy happened to bump into the healer during a trip to another hospital, causing him to drop his coveted stash of mushrooms. As one would expect, the hippy promptly gobbled up these very important fungi and thwarted Giygas' plan for a clone army.

In the Healer's case, Giygas convinces the healer to buy and ferment mushrooms, and then, sell them to the buyers, the addicts. This explains why seemingly average people like the New Age Retro Hippie, and the Unassuming Local Guy would attack a wholesome group such as Ness and the gang, and other innocent bystanders.

The explanation is solid, these enemies are on a violent shroom trip, they're trippin' hard on Giygas' evily produced mushrooms. It's never a fun trip, because Ness and his friends are giant cockroaches ready to eat them on sight. They do what they can to attack, but Ness has to unfortunatly beat them senseless everytime.

The reason this man does such is because he is a ex-rogue-con-super-ultra-mambo-tango-foxtrot former KGB Virii Scientist. His job is to collect the mushrooms from each area of the world and try to decode the puzzle that has baffled even Dr. Andoughnuts: Where did the first doughnut people originate from and what did they use to invent the wheel.

So you see, in all of it's splendor, the mushroom is actually the missing link between the Evil Ramblin' Mushrooms and the Mysterious Doughnut People of Ye Olde Tyme. They once lived peacefully and in harmony, but the Tessies (at the time they were evil), drove them apart in their wild craving for feasting upon Monkeys borne of the Bubble. The mushrooms in question put the peices into scope with it's powerful reversal of direction, forcing the experiementor of the mushroom to actually travel in any direction throughout time, thus using the technology of the Evil Ramblin' Shroom's ancestors and putting it to good use.

And that's why I love my padded room so much. :D

It all started when that man was being a penniless hobo starving in the street. That's when he saw a mushroom. I'm sure we all know what happens next... he ate the mushroom and found himself as a fat plumber donned in red, who fixed pipes for a living. It was a wonderful world! The people consisted entirely of mushrooms and turtles, and everyone treated him like a hero! The best part was, he got even more powerful every time he ate a mushroom!

Five seconds later he woke up and started eating every mushroom he could find. To this day he lurks around every hospital in the world (yes, at the same time) waiting to buy mushrooms from anyone who happens to have one placed on their head.

...what, you think I'm crazy? Okay, fine. Go ahead and keep selling your mushrooms to that crazy guy. Just don't come crying to be when you make him the hospital's next patient. Kids, don't do drugs.

1.) If you look closely, the man who buys your mushrooms resembles Iron Chef French, Hiroyuki Sakai, with blue dye in his hair. For those of you not familiar with Iron Chef, it's a Japanese cooking competition that takes place in a giant stadium, where a challenger chef from anywhere in the world chooses to fight one of the house chefs, a.k.a. "Iron Chefs", in an hour-long cooking battle. You can see it Saturdays at 10 PM on the Food Network. Anyway, rumor has it that he loves mushrooms, despite not using often in his battle with challenger chefs. Why does he go to Ness and company, though? Well, it's a little known fact that EarthBound mushrooms are, in fact, the most delectable in all of the world. However, if it grows on your head, you obviously feel adverse side effects. At that point, it can only be removed by the blade-wielding dexterity of either a surgeon or a chef. So, after getting a fungus-removal license, acquiring new healing powers, and receiving the cooperation of local hospitals, Sakai decides to get his delectable mushrooms AND help save the world. He's a good man, that guy.

2.) The healer is really a part of an underground mushroom relocation program. Friends, have you ever felt guilty after killing an innocent yet deadly mushroom? Well, the Homes for Mushrooms Society has dedicated their lives to the relocation of these helpless creatures and brings them to a place where they can live a life of peace and decomposition. Hospitals let this man in their establishment because they lack the skill of proper mushroom removal techniques. Huzzah!