The Mr. Saturns have very large noses and because of this the sense of scent has a large impact on their culture. Dark, evil, or otherwise negatively percieved things in their culture are often described as "odorous," or "foul". On the other hand, "fragrant" can be a descriptive word that has the same meaning as beautiful or magnificant. Also, Saturns have to keep a close eye on their scents because it can often be lead other Saturns into percieving them with sterotypes. Rogues and Untrustable people oftne carry a "dry" scent while too sweet of a scent could place somebody as absent minded or the Saturn equivelent of "disty".

The Mr. Saturns, although they have Mr. in their name, actually have both male and female genders. Although this may seem odd to humans, having female Mr. Saturns and all, it's quite normal to them and most of the universe. Most intellgient species in the universe don't really have gender specific pronouns or titles such as "Mr." Or "Mrs." and Men and women are often unisex words when describing people. This can be seen not only in The Mr. Saturns, but the Starmen as well-who do have both female and male Starmen.

Mr. Saturns lack arms but when they need to carry something, they often use their teeth or put the object onto a tray and then carry the tray in their mouth. The Saturns who are inventors at heart had never imagined inventing artifical arms/hands until they actually encountered lifeforms with said futures. There was a program devoted to the eventual development of artifical limbs, but this project eventually fell through the cracks during the Giygas conflict.

The Saturns were a little disoraginized, however, and didn't have any realy government. There was an elected Hancho-Head Saturn who could be compared to an Elder or perhaps a King but even he wasn't an absolute dictator. Saturn Soceity however managed to flow very smoothly because for a few reasons. One, the Saturns did not mind the disorganization that not having a structured government entails. Two, the Saturns are a very respecting people and very rarely get into disputes, mostly which are resolved by the conflicting parties themselves or the Hancho-Head Saturn.

Unfortunatly, Giygas's expanding empire eventually set it's eyes on Doseisan due to it's resources of metal and ore and other robot minion building materials. When the possiblity of a Giygas Invansion first occured there was the first split in the Saturn social structure when a group of Extreme-Pacifist Saturns were frightened at the prospect of invansion. These Saturns begged the Hancho-Head Saturn to relocate the people of the planet (Which was a small population-Perhaps 5 million) to another planet, away from Giygas Space.

The Hancho-Head Saturn refused and this group a tribe. This Pacifist tribe set their sights on a planet that was far enough from Giygas Space and eventually decided on Earth, and were called the Earth Tribe. They did leave the planet and were considered rather dishonorable by the majority of the population, having deserted their homeworld. This was the first fracture of many that would result in various Tribes over the years.

When Giygas's empire finally got to the point where it was bordering Dosesian Hancho-Head decided that the Saturns would have to battle against the forces of Giygas. Not only were Tribes forming faster and faster, but general unity was starting to be lost. This was the darkest age in Saturn history because for the first time ever their minds were set to develop horrible weapons and machines of destruction.

The war against Giygas was a long one and by the end, only half the population was still around. The other half had either fled their planet in Tribes or had been killed in the conflict. The Saturns designed one last battle tatic against Giygas and were going to have an all-or-nothing battle. They developed a special type of startship that could absorb the concentrated PSI Energy beams of the energy ships and then fire back the same shot at twice the power.

The battle was going spectacularly until the warship Giygas' Ambition showed up at the scene. Everybody not currently in a special ship were loaded into emergency ships and evacuated the planet. The Saturns were winning the battle and Giygas became desperate. No longer caring about the natural resources on the planet he ordered that The Devil's Canon be fired.

Planet Doseisan was destroyed and unfortunatly only an estimated 150,000 Saturns still exist in the universe in various Tribes. The Hancho Head Saturn did not survive the assualt on the homeworld. Although many of the Saturn Tribes have feelings of wanting to rejoin with their fellow Saturns, it is unclear whether a Saturn Reunification will ever be possible or work out. The Tribes are very different from each other, ranging from the very peaceful Earth Tribe to the belligerent Blood Chomp Tribe, and may not be compatible.

Now, you may be thinking, "If they're so ancient and wise, why are they, you know, so freakin' weird? Shouldn't they be wearing robes and acting respectable and giving advice to all the younger immature races?" My answer to that is that you've watched too stinkin' much Star Trek and think the Vulcans are the epitome of civilization or something. In actuality, no intelligent race can exist in a state of civilization without a sense of humor; the greater the sense of humor, the longer the civilization lasts. Mr. Saturns have an immense sense of humor.

About fifty years ago, the group of Mr. Saturns who currently inhabit Saturn Valley decided to spend a century or two on vacation on a primitive planet on the outskirts of the Saturn confederation. Although they could have reshaped their bodies into anything they pleased, (racing snails to angelic velociraptors to 43% rye bread robots and everything in between) they chose their, um, now familiar shape. After a short study of the Eagleland area where they decided to settle, they decided to modify their vocal chords to be able to speak in human audible tones. They never planned to come into actual contact with humans, though, so they taught themselves a crazy and very funny dialect in case they ever did need to communicate with the locals.

(The Mr. Saturn simply loved the words "ZOOM!" and "BOING!" In fact, the ones that stayed on the starship to return to Saturn space introduced the word to their confederation. If humans ever go voyaging to the stars and meet the Mr. Saturn, they will probably first exclaim, "So you're the race that invented the words 'ZOOM' and 'BOING'!" And that alone will be enough to make us trading partners. But I digress...)

So the Mr. Saturn (all three genders are actually represented among the population of Saturn Valley, but they thought being called Mister was cute) enjoyed themselves for the first fifty years or so. They played in the hot spring, chased butterflies, told each other stories of their many adventures (and they accumulate many stories over their thousands of years of life), wrote poetry and proved mathematical theorems. After all, this is a vacation, and you can't expect vacationers to do any actual work. It's kinda hard anyway without appendages. Their machinery hidden behind Grapefruit Falls produced all the food and supplies that they needed, and if worst came to worst they could still live just fine eating the local vegetation and drinking the mineral spring water.

They only landed in hot water (and I don't mean the springs) when Giygas shows up. All of a sudden, their machines are being controlled by a large blob, they're being kidnapped and enslaved, and there is the danger that one of them might be caught and forced to give up secrets about their society or technology (it's okay to tell trade partners, but not malevolent beings of pure evil and destruction; it's pretty simple). Fortunately, Ness and Co. saved the day, so they've gone back to fixing their machines, and waiting for the starship to return to take them back home. They'll be fine, though. A few months after their troubles had ended, the Mr. Saturns were laughing at it and boing-ing around in circles. It's their way.

Or, you could go the long way...

Ok, the long way. Ahem. First of all, the Mr.Saturn are actually aliens. they were sent to earth. They had arms, hands, and a body. Oh Giygas had come,
from a far distant world,
in a large yellow ship,
that blinked as it twirled,
it rounded the moon,
it entered their sky,
they knew it had come,
but they didn't know why.

Early next morning,
in noisy commotion,
the ship slowly moved,
out over the ocean,
it lowered a tube,
and drained the whole sea,
for transport back home,
to his galaxy.

The tube then sucked up,
the clouds and the air,
causing no small amount,
of Saturn dispair,
with nothing to breathe,
they started to die,
"Us help! Stop please!"
was the public outcry.

Then a hatch opened up,
and oh Giygas had said,
"I'm sorry to learn,
that you soon will be dead.
Ill pick you all up,
you're all slaves to me,
back to earth,
for destruction you see."

He took them to earth,
he severed their arms,
and opened a shop,
and sold them as charms.
Giygas went back,
to that stupid planet,
"Im leaving now."
all had said "[Dang] it."

And through their ingenious technology, they created robots, and the Saturns grew incredibly short. Now they build and function either with their robots or their noses.

But how does an armless thing like a Foppy become advanced enough to own ATMs and telephones? One reason may be the intervention of humanity. We come to see Dr. Andonuts has obvious interest in the Saturns, and even designs the Phase Distorters after their features. Perhaps he could be blamed for their technology. Also, the nearby influence of the Milky Well could have granted a small boost to their capacity for learning and using the tools of civilization. Obviously, the lack of arms doesn't hinder their ability to thrive. After all, several animals don't have prehensile digits like humans.

Along with civilization comes an inherent culture. Language is one of the first traits of any culture, and the Mr. Saturns certainly have a unique one. Somewhat a creole language, it is also characteristically goofy sounding. This, of course, could be contributed to their mass consumption of coffee (and we saw what that did to Ness). In fact, aside from a couple of herbs, coffee seems to be the only consumable commodity the Saturns own. Perhaps this is why they use the hot springs all the time to relax. Actually, they seem to be a pretty laid-back people. A great deal of their services are free, with the exception of a few entrepreneurs who probably developed the idea of trade from human interaction - stated above. Isolation in the valley may be responsible for the lack of a suitable economy, and probably required the tight communal society they live in. Conformity seems to have a great hold on the Saturns, but this may also indicate they have developed a sense of total equality (which would limit the need to stand out).

So, for all their strangeness, the Mr. Saturn actually appear to have developed somewhat uniformly. They have developed an organization equally effective as the humans', and the other demi-human species - the Tenda.

1. They paint and sculpt and all tha museum stuff, and they have a museum, but you can't see it because the screen cuts it of, so you never think of going in!

2. Of couse they eat Peanut Cheese Bar, and Piggy Jelly (what is piggy jelly?). But they also eat mushrooms and sprouts from the Milky way cave. They don't sell it to Ness because they are poisinis to humans.

3. Although they swim for pleasure, they also make prank calls! Them humans go crazy when they hear a prand call straight to your head!

4. In addition to Psi, they can also use their noses. So they just need to use their noses to climb up ladders, and everything else they can walk.

Now you must remember this theory is based on the theory that all things have Psi, but not the same kind of Psi, and not every body has realized Psi. So the Saturns have invisble hands made of Psi! This is Houyo T. Matrix, Signing out.

The Saturns are a peace loving people and enjoy just being with one another, which explains their tiny community, and take great joy in long walks and intelligent conversation throughout their many languages that all of them are fluent in. They, much like many other creatures, are psychic. Through their PSI powers they can move objects without making contact with them, through this they no longer needed much of anything but legs!

The hair and ribbon thing was sort of the style at the time the first Saturns took off from their gasous homeplanet... (hehehe... gasous uranus!). They are nice people and aren't into fighting, but instead run from trouble rather than face it.

Also, they enjoy piggy jelly (don't ask, even I don't wanna know) and peanut cheese bars. As it also turns out, they seem to enjoy grape jam and grilled cheese sandwhiches, but that was when I was there with them personally, so don't ask too much. Next, the Saturns are actually super-smart but don't like showing off, they are a modest bunch.

Also, Saturns are distant realtives of ameobas and reproduce asexually, splitting like cells in private from view of others. (They've all been through it, it's funny-looking). They, albeit are social, also enjoy their own privacy, but are friendly towards even those outside the species, thus hinting towards their gullability to the likes of Belch.

The Mr. Saturn's are relaxed creatures, enjoy their company.

The Food
The Mr. Saturns mainly eat life noodles, Brain food lunches, rice, and assorted fruit. How? The Mr. Saturns actually have the power of telekinesis, albeit a weaker one - they can lift only as much as fifty pounds. They use this power as a substitute of hands, and they manage to get along with life fairly well.

The Recreation
The Mr. Saturns play different sports, including soccer, tennis, and croquet. They also like to run and swim. But, of course, they have Saturnball.

Saturnball
The play: A Mr. Saturn steps up to the hitting line with his Saturnbat. Another Mr. Saturn, the pitcher, rolls a small red rubber ball towards the batter. The batter must try to either hit the ball through a hoop (like the ones in Quidditch) several feet off the ground behind the pitcher or through a wicket closer by. The batter, if he hits the ball through a wicket or hoop, must run to two field posts (about five yards behind the hoops) and back to the batting line(like post 1, line, post 2, line) to earn two points. The catchers, next to the hoops, must try to catch the ball and hit the batter with it. If the batter only reaches one field post and returns to the batting line before he is hit by the ball, his team only gets one point. When a batter is hit by the ball or reaches the field posts and returns to the batting line without being hit, the next batter goes up. Each inning is five outs or ten points long, and each game is ten innings.

The Army
The Mr. Saturns, strange as it may seem, have an elite army of crack soldiers. Of course, the army is very small, and the soldiers only help drive away invaders and do dangerous things (moving a vat of hazardous chemicals well outside Saturn Valley). The Army has four divisions: Troops to defend, Secrecy Agency to keep Saturn Valley secret, DCC (danger containment crew) to get rid of toxic materials and other harmful things, and the Intelligence Agency to keep in touch with what is going on elsewhere.

Energy Supply
There are many hot springs that bubble up from underground, so the Mr. Saturns harness their heat energy and convert it to electricity. Some hot springs are cool enough to swim in.

History
The Mr. Saturns arrived on earth when a spaceship full of them crashed. All of the Mr. Saturns survived.

Well, that about sums it up. I could have made this into an article...

When tourists aren't in Saturn Valley, the Saturn are doing many things. Some are having PSI strength contests, to see who can be the first to throw the other in the mud, or the cliff. Some are enslaving the Foppies and the Fobbies to work for them. Most importantly, the majority are in a huge mafia meeting, led by none other than Mr. Saturn. They do anything from stealing money from Topolla Theater, threatening the Hint guy, causing blackouts in department stores, all the way to stealing the Ladededahugubolastalosugradurgamininachosdollarbillbutthufigi (nachosbutt) needed to make the Magic Cake.

All Mr. Saturns love to eat the Magic Cake, which is why they steal the Ladededahugubolastalosugradurgamininachosdollarbillbutthufigi needed to make it. They also make sure this is true by killing any of their own kind that doesn't love it. Since the "kind" Mr. Saturn are compelled by nature to tell the truth, only those that live love the cake.

The little hair on the Mr. Saturn's head is actually poisonous. One touch can actually kill you. They wear the ribbon to keep it from touching them when the wind blows cause it will kill them as well, not to mention they're born with it.

All this would make you wonder, why was Belch able to enslave the Mr. Saturn to do his dirty work? It's simple, not only do they hate the smell he emits, but it also nullifies their PSI power.

Their hobbies, they like to play Saturn Ball. It's like baseball or Kickball, but they use their noggins to hit the ball. They also like to play video games. They imitate their favorite video game, EarthBound. Whenever Ness and his friends come to visit, they take the Mr.Saturns to Fourside's Department store. They eat pizza and burgers. The Mr.Saturns never worries about arms and legs. They always work with their heads. That's if they can put their mind to it. SaturnValley. Est:1995, Pop:1,000.

They are very intelligent, at least we think so. So, they figured out new ways and better ways to get around. Eventually, they decided to make catapults to get around quickly and up and down cliffs (which is why you don't really hurt them in Super Smash Brothers Melee). For pleasure, they splash around in the hot springs, fix/create things, or read magazines (!).

This is what I think, so if you get it, please explain it to me.

Not having finshed the remote controls on his new creation Mr.Saturn unforunately crash landed down onto earth.

Mr.Saturn quickly adapted to the enviroment and soon developed it's own culture

Mr.Saturn is the evolution of a pig and a human where a pig has 4 feet and is well known for it's snout. Unlike pigs Mr. Saturn doesn't have a curly tail much like a pig has. Instead it is given a round fully formed human buttox. Also unlike the pig Mr.Saturn has a nose but like the pig it is also a characteristic feature that does not go unnoticed.

Thus Mr.Saturn's appearance consists of 2 feet and nose which grants them a speach impediment (which makes them difficult to understand at times), Whiskers around their nose and a long hair with a bow tie and pink fuzzy fur just like a pig's. Due to their short pair of legs much like the pigs draws us to the conclusion that the Mr.Saturn aren't very fast runners..or even walkers.

The Diet of Mr.Saturn is much like a pigs but is desirable much like a human's diet consists of. Thus they've created exatordinary foods you wouldn't find any where else,Such as the Peanutbutter cheese bar and Clorie Stick for example. These foods hold tremdous trans fats and "fat-tay" acids. If a regular human were to undertake this diet their life span would be much short lived due to tremdous gain of weight. This alone would be hard on the lungs and heart to digest for a human. Due to Mr.Saturn's form and great figure they can eat these foods and process it to waste for unlike both the pig and human Mr.Saturn's digestive system is filled with "short-cuts" so the process of digestin' food will take half as long as any creature. Maybe even insta-digestion

As for Clothes and/or fashion sense..unlike the human but much like the pig Mr.Saturn tend to walk around wearing their warm pink fuzzy fur.

We don't really know much about Mr.Saturn's gender except for the fact that they are All named Mr. but due to the bow tie which they wear we may never know what gender the Mr.Saturn is embedded with for all we know it could very much likely be the sex orientation of the worm where they are neither but both. This would generally give us a good idea of their mating rituals. Having said that it should also lead us into the Life Span of the Mr.Saturn.

If the theory is true that mr.saturns are both human and pig they have 10x the rate of the human lifespan which would mean they'd live approximently to 1000 years. The truth though is..we humans don't know if this is true or not. For our life span is very much shorter then the Mr.Saturn. So their life time or even their age remains a mystery to us. Having a long life span though also rewards the Mr.Saturn with knowledge that come's with age..Which makes them equally good as or even better then any well known scientist.

With all these attriubutes Mr.Saturn Valley was created very shortly after the Arrival of Mr.Saturn. From then on they've lived lives much like humans do; eating, sleeping, thinking and playing Super Nintendo's Eartbound/Mother.

Though One Mystery remains to this day. What do you call more then One Mr.Saturn? Mr.Saturns, Mr.Saturn(s) or The Mr.Saturn?

Mr. Saturns have no arms, as most of us know. How do they live without arms? It's obvious! They pick things up with their feet. But how do they climb aall those ladders? The rungs are placed so far apart that they wouldn't be able to reach the next rung with their feet! So they use their hair thing with the bow in it as a rope. They use their feet to tie it onto the first rung. Then they walk up it with their feet, up to the first rung. They keep repeating this tediouse task until they reach the top! YAY!

Recreation- The Saturns love to drink their crazy cofee! It iz fun! They see wierd wiggly lines in front of them and they run around lke wild things! When they get tired they consume more caffene! Some times they choke on the coffee, since theyre holding it with their feet.

Food- COFFEE!!! ~:D

Recreation II - FARTING!

Religion- The Saturns worship Leuwenhuick (pronounced Laivenhook). Leuwenhuik lived in the 16th century. He discovered Protozoa and other microscopic creatures. He called them little animals. Leuwenhuick really existed! Check the library if you don't agree! I did a science report on him.

So the Mr. Saturns worship Leuwenhuick as their supreme god. Every other Tuesday they make a Saturn sacrifice to him.

Here is a list of Mr. Saturn Gods and Goddesses:
Leuwenhuik- Supreme god
Hilary Clinton- goddess of Democrats.
Al Gore- God of Democrats
George W. Bush- God of republicans.
George W. Bush's Wife- Goddess of Republicans.
Alexander the Great- God of war.
Ness- God of stupid people.

Other- Mr. Saturns are protected by Eagleand law. It is illegal to shoot, maim, mutilate, eat, harm, or attack a Mr. Saturn. -Eagleand Law

Mr. Saurns taste great in pies -101 Exotic Deserts

BOING!

My Theory is that 10 years in the past, Mr. Saturns were actual people! Then January 23, 199X, an unknown force snatched the Mr. Saturns-to-be, and stuffed them in a mutation capsule! They programmed their personalities to talk funny, love Peanut Cheese bars, and give free service to travellers. They also programmed the looks so they only have a head, 2 feet, and one hair with a ribbon on it. Now how do they eat? 2 possibilities...

1) Eat it off the ground (Ew...)

2) How do you say... PSI?

Thank you for listening to my ramblings.

Eh. the name is stupid. Anyways, off topic.

The Mr. Saturns seem to be a nice, peaceful breed of... Something. But, what always seems to slip into my mind is how come every Mr. Saturn is nice? I mean, in our place and time (and even back then), there was and is alot of crime. Heck, the game is about destroying Giygas, Universal Destroyer. They are always so kind and perky, you'd think they are some sort of ancient breed of demi-gods who have fallen from the sky. They seem to have the right 'things' for it, even without arms or hands or anything of the sort.

Their language is crazy; maybe they speak some sort of ancient english? And they always have something that will help you, being it free curing, helpful items (for a reasonable price), coffee to help your journey, and more.

They have probably been hidden for centuries, and have put themselves in a small, hidden patch of land as not to draw attention. And is it not true that when Paula is praying, the Mr. Saturns help as well? 'Like a guardian angel, always following you.'

Being demi-gods and such, they would not NEED such feeble parts as their hands. They do not need them for anything; their nose is much more useful. They have no food or drinks (except for the coffee), because, being what they are, these items are not needed for them to live.

And now, venturing a bit off topic...

The Tenda. Now, I won't talk alot about them, but I need them as an example. Maybe the Tenda and Mr. Saturn are two different types of demi-gods. Tenda are most likely the rulers of the Underground, and the Mr. Saturns the rulers of above ground. Sure, they may seem petty and useless, but they have saved your butt on more than one occasion, so don't mouth off to them.

Being as plain as they are, one would think otherwise. But their big, pink noses, large oval-shaped feet, and single hair with a ribbon strapped to it might hide the actual power that lies within.

There are bits and pieces of proof, such as how they have an unlimited supply of 'Horn of Life' and such. These, being very hard to get, must be found in one place in particular. Some place where only Mr. Saturns know of.

And that is my little bit of how Mr. Saturns (and Tendas in the backround), are actually evolved forms of demi-gods. So, goodbye, and keep remembering to not underestimate the true power of our little pink friends.

Mr. Saturn, in my opinion, seem to be mechanical geniuses, creating the Phase Distorter with Dr. Andonuts. But, I also believe that they are incredibely powerful psychics.

INCOMING THEORIE:
I believe that the Mr. Saturn have occupied the Saturn Valley since the beginning of time, and were granted psychic powers because of their design, lacking limbs to pick up things or move things with. This obviously points to psychic power. That's why I believe they gave free healing to Ness, because of his psychic powers. Also, the tea that a certain Mr. Saturn gives Ness...

It's not an ordinary tea, of course. Instead, it is much different and allows Ness to read encouragement through psychic powers. In other words, I believe that the Mr. Saturns are of course PSYCHIC.

The saturn babies have adapted well to the walking head life style however. They use their noses to lift things (often working in teams of two or three.) They eat piggy jelly, which, despite it's name, is not made from pigs OR jelly. It is actually a rare substance from the future that was a "stowaway" on the voyage to the past. This living pudding proved to be quite delicious, and the Saturn babies quickly learned the art of farming it.

For fun, the Saturns do exactly what you'd expect from a head with legs and no arms... they break dance.

Anyhoo, on to the theroy:

The culture of the Mr. Saturn is about two things...the nose and the ribbon. Without them, they would be little pink blobs with eyes and whiskers. So with that in mind, they worship the ribbon and the nose through a varity of celebrations and hootinannies, involving Piggy Jelly contests, Pin the ribbon on the Mr. Saturn tournaments, constant Boinging and Dinging, Horn of Life concerts, and other wholesome activities. As for birthday parties...we don't wanna go there...let's just say they have a facination for birthday cards and Halmark has a field day.

Their food mostly consists of Piggy Jelly, Peanut Cheese Bars, and milk from the Milky Well. Rarely, they'll eat grass and berries too.

Aside from the Ribbon-Nose festivals, they like to soak in that hot spring hole, swim in Grapefruit Falls, keep in touch with their outside spy in Happy-Happy Village, and invent stuff, despite the fact that they can't build it. That's when they use their hidden PSI powers to hypnotize travelers to build it for them. They'll eventually rule the world with their hypno-powers. Aside from that, they like to boing, ding, and make odd refernces to Dakota.

They compensate the loss of arms and legs with their nose. It's all about the nose, baby! They push stuff with it, use it as a leathal weapon somehow, and they even pick thier own noses for entertainment and food (little to contary belief, Mr. Saturn Snot is a yummy and rare delicacy, served only in Summers). There are other uses that their noses can do, but they have yet to be documented...and don't forget those PSI hypnosis powers they have. If they can't do it, force someone else to!

Anyhoo, that's my thing about the Mr. Saturn. And remember...they will rule the world, along with monkeys.