MOTHER 3 PERSUASION TECHNIQUES:

Over the year during which the petition was at large, we often found ourselves cracking up in the staff channel as someone would be clearing signatures from the petition queue, posting some of the more 'interesting' signatures. These are a collection of the best. I've bolded the best of the best for those of you who are impatient and want your funny on-demand.

LOGIC:

"Witholding Mother 3 makes about as much sense as only eating half a banana. Wouln't you want another half of the banana?"
"Sell the game for $59.95, multiply that by 50,000, you get $2,997,500 thats about 3 million dollars in profit, what have you got to lose?"
"CENSORSHIP IS WHAT MAKES PEOPLE LIMIT THEMSELVES."
"EarthBound was cool. And, um, try and include more REALLY cool stuff like violence and swearing and sex. Then it could be like South Park!"
"I have been waiting for an Earthbound game since I first played it."
"lemons are sour and i want earthbound!!!"
HUMOR:
"Do you like Poo as much as I do?"
"As long as we can eat burgers from the trash again, I'm happy."
"Please bring at least ONE mother to Europe... it's as if you WANT us to use emulators."
"Earthbound = best RPG ever. And writing this petition makes me with I didn't let my best friend share in the joy... I WANT MY GAME BACK"
BLATANT IGNORANCE:
"please make this game for xbox. i will pay lots of $."
"EarthBound is the coolest game ever. Please make it for N64 not GC, 64 needs more games(just one!)"
"EarthBound is a great game and I think it would be cool to see EarthBound in 3D. I've also downloaded the ROM for EB Zero."
"Earthbound rocks. You should defenitely make new games for it on PS2 and XBOX."
"Earthbound/Mother 2 player for 11 years! (On and off of course ;) "
INSULTS:
"man you have tokeep an rpg series like earthbound alive, we need somein other then FF 2,983,829 to look forward to in the future"
"it's not like you guys at nintendo are going to come up with anything original"
THREATS:
"Please, bring home the bacon. We need Mother 3, or my cat gets it."
"We need Mother 3!!! Please, look at the unity it will promote! Please, Nintendo, do your part to fight terrorism and release Mother 3!"
"If you do not make this game i will kil myself. I am DEAD Serouse about this. Please dont let me die. Please........."
"gimme a new earthbound or ill chop off your head!"
"I hug then kick"
TESTIMONIALS:
"I loved Earth Bound It changed my life made me play RPGs faster and I stopped going out side"
"EARTHBOUND SAVED MY LIFE."
TYPS:
"YO NINTENDO PEEPS PEZ GIVE US THAT MOTHER3 GAME YO BEEN LEAVEING ME AND OTHERS MANY OTHERS HANGING ABOUT TIS ANYWAYS PEACE YALL!!!"
"Please Release Moth 3"
"Though I just got into this game thanks to a college roommate of mine. I would love for a squeal to be made!"
DRUGS:
"Dear, Nintendo I would like to ask of you. If it is not to much to ask. If you would"
"Is this type of movie or somethng looks kind of cool, dat cool."
"Mother is like a drug, first you start with only a little crazy ol' party man then your hooked and seeing starmen every night. SMMAAAAAAASH!"
"The release of Mother 3 is stirring the sleeping giant of those who have fallen asleep waiting. It must prevail, IT MUST"
"This might be a losing battle, but I think it's worth a shot. Hope you guys succeed with this. ::lick:: Later."
"Make Earthbound riegn, please help it. It's crying for you "Help me!" says Mr.Saturn "Help me!""
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!"
"I.......AM.......BRAD"
"monkeys rock blood liver heart lung splein skin brain adoms aple i love beind canabalistick"
"we need this game so I can play naked"
WTF:
"I wait already since that the play for the N64 was announced!"
"Earthbound makes me giggle like a schoolgirl."
" |-|3`/ ._/00 |\|1|\|73|\||)0 />30/>|_.3 61\/3 |_|5 /\/\07|-|32 7|-|233 |\|0\/\/!!!"
"End the preconception to ocidental gamers" (Thanks to Frank Chu for signing!)
"It is better to have loafed and lost, then never to have loafed at all."
"Mother 3, where o where have u gone? What have they done to U?"
"the devil loves you."
COMPLETE IRRELEVANCE:
"Hey,,, got any cigars?"
"workin' real hard now i'm on tv for sheezy"
"You've broken my secret elbow!"
"Spork"
"hey brian, dis ish ur ex-gurlys sista!so live life to the fullest without her, n hope ya find a new gurlfrend. peace out."
"I love the Power Glove, it's so bad."
BRIBERY:
"Ill be your best freind:D"
"Earthbound was interesting. Someone said if I supported this I'd get free cheese. When does it arrive?"
"I would eat my shoes to play Mother 3, and I mean that."
UNBRIDLED FRUSTRATION:
"My brother likes this game i wouldlike to see him stop complaining! Thanks."
"Message length is too long. Please make it shorter and try again. - u make it longer if u don't mind"
"Forget this I can't make it 10 lines long im not posting this screw mother 3 dont make it"
WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, QUOTE SOMEONE ELSE:
"lo voglio tutto"
"Fool who rank me with fresh-shrink wrap
paper make smelly fool of himself.
-a very wise man"
"Marge: Are you sitting on the pie, Grandpa? Grandpa: I sure hope so."
And the much needed commentary:
<EBounding> it's symbolic
<Falcon24-SIGS> rofl
<Falcon24-SIGS> good old simpsons
<EBounding> Grandpa is Nintendo, pie is Mother 3
<Falcon24-SIGS> LOL
Best...Signature...EVER:
"Go Earthbound...

PS James McDonald sucks (lol jamie)"