Ness's Lousy Summer
by eduD edisnooM

Ness had beaten Giygas
and the world was overjoyed,
For the universe was saved
by the psychic little boy

But despite his awesome powers
and his unmatchable cool,
Ness's mighty journy
forced him into summer school.

It all turns out that in the time
that Ness had been away,
Was all the time it took
to make F's out of his A's.

So while surfers thrive in Summers
and the Runaway Five tour round,
And while Winters is defrosting
and Mr. Saturn's skin tans brown,

And while Venus sings in Fourside
and "Zombie Circus" plays in Threed,
Ness is stuck behind a desk
writing essays, seven AM to three.

The classroom's hot and sweaty
and air conditioner stopped,
The pencil lead keeps breaking
and the teacher acts like a cop.

So out of total boredom
Ness yelled "What a Bummer!
Was the world worth saving
by giving up my Summer?"

The teacher, of course, took notice.
"You've vacationed long enough!
Your mom helped you play hookie.
Now it's time that you caught up!"

By now the teacher had given Ness
the world's largest migrain,
But Ness just went back of to work
and shrugged off all the pain.

Ness stopped writing for a moment,
and looked out the windows in the back,
And he thought he saw some kid
with the exact same baseball cap.

He was pedeling his bike so fast
that his face was brightly flushed.
He was just a little hyper
and in a real big rush.

He also had the same shorts,
same backpack, and same shirt,
But Ness turned back around and thought
"Time to get back to work."

But no matter how hard he tried
he could not help but think,
What had happened to his friends
since their last meet.

So he concentrated slowly
and he gathered up his thoughts,
And friendly little images
his psychic powers brought.

They shimmered and they sparkled
and in very little time,
Ness could see his friends
in the center of his mind.

Jeff is still in Saturn Valley.
It seems he hasn't left.
The Saturns are teaching him
loads of things to invent.

Poo hasn't been training.
Instead, he took a trip.
He traveled all the way to Scaraba
to eat "Kracken Fish and Chips".

Paula is back in Twoson.
It seems she's doing fine,
But those little preschool kids
are driving her out of her mind.

Talah Rama is still teaching
desert monkeys to meditate,
And "The Apple of enlightenment"
just keeps on gaining wieght.

Orange Kid isn't so lucky,
Making bots that 'POP' and 'FRIZZLE',
And the photo-guy can't stop eating
those luscious "Fuzzy Pickles!"

B.H. Pirkle isn't happy
because his campaign stratagy sucked,
And the Tendas in Lost Underworld
Just realized that they're stuck!

Monotoli is playing Monopoly
and just bought a railroad,
And the miner in Dusty Dunes
finaly struck the mother lode.

Frank works at McOnett's
and in spare time, does pro wrasslin',
And the Saturns, when not teaching Jeff,
Just like to lay around relaxin'.

Electra is still making
trout yogurt that tastes funny,
And Everdred, as always,
has lots and lots of money.

Dr. Andonuts is working
on a new Phaze Distorter plane,
and Chief Strong and the Onett P.D.,
were put in the "Road-Block Hall of Fame."

Liar X., the billboard guy,
is still acting fairly greedy,
And Carpainter, once reformed,
is now spraying with grafitti.

Tony and Maxwell Labs
joined the "Tessie Watchers" group,
And the left over Happy-Happiest
are still chanting "...blue...blue..."

The Sharks now help the homeless.
They planed canned food drives all Summer,
And Picky is still wondering,
"Where the hey is my big brother?"

Brickroad, or Dungeon Man,
is still stuck in those two trees,
And the Bubble-Monkey has three more kids,
Ukku, Ukkyak, and Ukkiii.

Ness left school that day
feeling a little better,
Seeing all his friends gave him
a feel of suden splender.

Now Ness only wished
to go and visit them one-by-one,
Just the thought of seeing his friends again
seemed like so much fun.

But REAL school starts tomorrow.
He would never get back in time,
And he could not teleport
because the visions drained all his Psy.

Then, while walking home,
Ness heard a deafining sound,
Like the boom of thunder clashing,
or bombs exploding all around.

Then all at once, it just appeared,
a giant sphere made out of lead,
With the likeness of Mr. Saturn
and a ribbon on it's head.

Then a man stepped out,
He looked like an astronaut.
But when he took off his helmet,
It turned out he was Andonuts!

And then he began to speak,
"Hey Ness, are you surprised?
How would you like a joy ride
on the Phaze Distorter Five?"

"This new model," he continued,
"Can support human life, But you may only travel one day back,
I hope that will sufice."

And with that thought,
Ness started thinking.
If he was realy quick,
one day was all he would be needing!

He could ride his bike to Twoson,
take the bus to Forside from Treed,
Then "borrow" Monotoli's chopper
to go wherever else he'd need!

Ness was so excited,
he quickly jumped inside,
And the giant steel Saturn
took Ness back through time.

The classroom's hot and sweaty
The air conditioner stopped.
The pencil lead keeps breaking
and the teacher acts like a cop.

Ness stopped writing for a moment,
and looked out the windows in the back,
And he thought he saw some kid
with the exact same baseball cap.