I was at my house
Playing Smash Bros.
Hitting Link
In his pointy nose
But then he hit A+Forward
And he pulled out his sword
And smashed the stuffing out of me

And that's about the time that I fell off the screen
I got real mad and I started to scream
I can't believe that someone just beat me
'cuz I was playing real cheaply
I can't believe I'm losing so bad
Why'd I play again?
Why'd I play again?

Later on,
I had just two stock
My opponent
Was being a real shmuck
He used Ness' Down+A kick
I started feeling sick
'cuz I knew I was gonna fall

And that's about the time that I fell off the screen
I got mad and I started to scream
Then my opponent, he started to gloat
So I compared him to a goat
But I can't believe I'm losing so bad
Why'd I play again? Why'd I play again?

And that's about the time that I fell off the screen
I got real mad and I started to scream
My stock was low and my percentage high
I knew that I was gonna die
I can't believe I'm losing so bad...

And that's about the time my last stock went away
It seems this happens every time I play
I was going to storm out the door
But I decided to practice more
I can't believe I did so bad
Why'd I play again? Why'd I play again?