(Note: This is a parody of Songwriter by Van Morrison, not to be confused with Van Halen. This goes out to all the fic writers! All of ya, whether here, FanFiction.Net, PMHQ, wherever, it's for you!)

I'm a fic writer, and I know just where I stand
I'm a fic writer, mouse and keyboard in my hand
Got the fics on the page
Please, don't call me a sage.
I'm a fic writer.

I'm a fic writer, I don't do it for a livin'
I'm a fic writer, and I write about lasers blastin'
I can write about love, and the stars up above
I'm a fic writer

I'm a fic writer, and I'm hot on my stuff's trail
I'm a fic writer, and my fic's in e-mail
I can write with the scene, I can make up a dream
I'm a fic writer

I'm a fic writer, I can do it for certain
I'm a fic writer even do it when I'm hurtin'
When it comes to the bit, I write another hit
I'm a fic writer

I'm a fic writer, I can put it in words
I'm a fic writer, and it ain't for the birds
I can spin you a yarn, it's as long as my arm
I'm a fic writer