In the happy world of Eagleland
there is only one true foe
Greater than all the others

And I think that you should know
He makes Giygas start to whimper
And makes Pokey look holy
Yes this evil man I'm talking about
Is Mr. Monotoli

His power comes not from his PSI
but from all his cash
And from what you see in the whole game
He has quite a stash
He rules over all of Fourside
His just one big, fat phoney
He has a thousand bodyguards
And a robot that eats bologna

He seems to have no weakness
That you can use to make him hurt
The only thing that he loves
Is tasty Trout Yogurt
He hides out in the bar
Which is now called the "cafe"
Consulting with the Mani Mani
On how to get his way

He crushes all his enemies
Like Everdred you know
And you can not ever hurt him
'Cause he's rolling in the dough
He has a helicopter
If things aren't going great
Too bad Pokey took it
'Cause it couldn't hold his weight!

He is the worst of the worst
That cheap, old, rotten guy
So if you see him on the street
Give him a big black eye!